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Tits Oneliners

I love you with all my tits, I would say heart, but my tits are bigger.

Twin Peaks is just one giant boob joke.

Tits are like women. Some are big, some are small. Some are real and some are fake. But we'd touch em' all.

My tits are having a hard time deciding what they want to be when they grow up

Fake tan. Fake tits. Fake nails. Fake hair. Tell us again how you want a real man.

My breast intentions keep making a mess of things

If it weren't for nipples, tits would be pointless.

Don't expect a girl to have big tits & a big ass if you dont have a big wiener

Having to watch what you eat because you don't want your tummy to compete with your tits

Tits are proof that guys can focus on two things at once.

Why the fuck are bra's so expensive, all they do is hold tits, I can do it for free

I think it's only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake tits.

Tits are like the sun. Ok to look, but dangerous to stare. But that's what sunglasses are for.

That awkward moment when you're reading someone's shirt & it looks like you're staring at their tits.

You're a boob. Just tittin' You're my breast friend.

Friends are like tits, some are small and some are big, some are real, and some are fake.

Tits are like soda, nobody likes them flat.

I told your boss you quit working at KFC. I didn't like you touching other breasts, legs and thighs.

My girlfriend said she wants bigger tits for her 18th birthday. So I got her pregnant.

I'd jog for exercise, but it just feels criminal for my tits to bounce like that when not having sex.

Gravity apologizes to no one. Especially your breasts.

Men go through 3 stages in life: Drinking from tits, staring at tits, and growing tits.

What did the bra say to the hat? You go on ahead and I’ll give these two a lift.

What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn’t? Her navel.

What happened to the large-breasted streaker at the pop concert? She was thrown out by the bouncers.

Why do men find it hard to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.

Why is the space between a women’s breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could fit another pair of breasts there.

Why is the Wonder Bra called a Wonder Bra? Because when she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

What did the bra say to the hat? you go on ahead, i"ll give these two a lift.

I’m going to tell you a joke that’s so funny you’ll laugh your tits off. Oops, you’ve already heard it.


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